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(Here is where I answer questions and give advice to frogs and humans.Millie)
What should I feed my frog, whose name is Bruce. I never had a frog before and I gave him lots of lettuce and carrots but he won't eat them. I'm worried about him. Help!
Dear Bruce's human,
Of course your frog won't eat! No self respecting frog likes lettuce and carrots. We frogs like to eat what bugs us. get it? If your frog is dainty like me, he will love small crickets. If he is a bigger frog, he will love big crickets and big worms. I know some frogs that even eat mice sometimes. Lay off the veggies and give him bugs. Love, Millie
I am a very handsome frog. I live in a lovely swamp and have many bugs to eat. But I am very unhappy. You see, there is a lovely female amphibian named Lilly that I am desperately in love with and I know we could be gloriously happy together and have hundreds and hundreds of handsome and lovely froglets together. However, Lilly lives in another swamp and believe me, its not half as nice as mine but she insists we live there. How can I convince her to move to my swamp and live happily ever after?
I'm sure your swamp is very nice but it seems that Lilly feels the same way about her swamp. Swamps are what you make them you know. My suggestion to you is to go swamp hunting together until you find a swamp you can both agree on. Good luck.
I read your advice all the time. It has really helped me. But now I have a problem and I hope you can help. All my friends have a significant other except me. What's wrong? There are lots of frogs in the pond but I seem to only attract toads. Help!
Lonely in big pond
You didn't mention if you are a frog or a toad. If you are a toad, that could be why you attract toads. Look beyond the warts and I'm sure you'll find your soul mate.
I am a human and would love to have a red eyed tree frog just like you. Can you tell me where to find a frog just like you?
There is no other frog like me. So, I'm sorry to say, there will be no place to refer you to. However, if you will accept another red eyed tree frog, just not exactly like me, I'm sure you will like each other. Some links to look for us is www.kingsnake.com and www.mascarino.com and LLL reptiles.com I came from the second one but it has been several years ago and a lady never tells her age. Good luck.
How can I get my human to pay more attention to me? He forgets to clean my bowl and I cannot bare to bathe in it sometimes. And I get very hungry but he forgets to give me crickets. I'm feeling weak and dirty.
Desperate in Toledo
Try lying on your back. That should get his attention. If that doesn't work, you must escape from your tank. Call the ASPCF (American Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Frogs) and they will find a good home for you. Above all, don't croak!
I am a handsome, manly frog. I have a very nice tank, a great big water bowl to soak in and I get lots of crickets and night crawlers. I am very happy except for one thing. I would like a muscle shirt and some work out pants. I can't convince my human to get this for me. How can I convince her? Best regards, Webster Pyxie
Oh for goodness sakes! Your human cannot believe a frog no matter how manly would want to wear muscle shirts and work out pants. What are they anyway? I, myself have never seen a frog in clothes of any sort. We prefer our natural beauty. Its lovely being green or whatever color you were when you hopped out of the pond. Listen, big fellow, work out in the buff. Its what every frog does.
Talk to me. I'm listening and I'm waiting to hear from you. Millie Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org